Lê Hoàng Mai

Đại Học Ngoại Thương

Envy vs. Rivalry

The differences between envy and rivalry have been long discussed which so far seems to be going on and on. In fact, there is such a fine line between the two emotions, once you find out that is a characteristic of rivalry and a second later, it appears to change into one of envy’s features.

First, let’s think over the following self-dialogue.

Envy says, “Why can you have all that? Why cannot I? Not a chance such a man like me is to stand succumbing to you?” Rivalry said, “Why can you have all that? What must and should I do to catch up with you?

Envy says, “All the things belonging to me are beyond your reach. You do not deserve them and will never be able to achieve them. Give up dreams!” Rivalry says, “You and I, each has our own strengths, I will have to learn from you; on the contrary, it is fair to say that you will also need to get something out of me.”

Envy may be defined as an emotion that occurs when a person feels their lack of someone’s quality, talent, achievement, social status, knowledge or possession. In a word, it is somehow equal to the feeling of “being afraid of inferiority”. Envy originates from a sense of low self-esteem which results from an upward social comparison threatening a person’s self image. That is not to say envy is accompanied by cowardice, complex and disrespect of oneself.

An envious individual always places a question mark in everything that their “rival” achieves; therefore, he tries to prove that the other’s successes are not rooted in genuine capabilities. His ultimate target is to harass “the rival”, to get on the rival’s nerves without awareness of the fact that his action derives from his own “sense of failure and the fear of failure.”

Differently, the birth and the growth of rivalry contain little negative signs. Rivalry derives from self-respect and desires of healthy competition. When a person feels envious of someone else\'s superiority, he will wonder for himself why he has been enviously thinking like that and what consequences are likely to be if he keep bearing in his mind such comparisons. Then he tries to reverse his train of thoughts, attempts to figure out determination and efforts needed to be made so as to keep abreast with “the rival”. In such a way, rivalry, or so-called positive envy, is seen as a vital driving force behind the movement towards self-improvement, whose endurability, on a larger scale of an organization or a society, will be the foundation for development.

Although the two seem to have an intimate linkage, it cannot be denied that envy is one of the most powerful and also the worst human emotions for its ability to control the whole person, to make them, their rivals and even their organization fall prey.

The envier appears to be always rendered unhappy with the obsession of a must to speak evil of “the rival”, to humiliate them in front of others or even to take revenge of them for “all the things he/she is better than them”. No longer is the envier’s mind and time devoted to their business. For his own sake, he is putting his own head in the noose. A foreseeable consequence is that his talents and abilities are gradually being corroded. From the viewpoint of the organization that he is a part of, say a company, that is a tremendous waste as the company is paying a great deal for nothing but envy and hostility.

Moreover, envy is considered to be a universal and most unfortunate aspect of human nature because not only is the envious person rendered unhappy by his envy, but he also wishes to inflict misfortune on others. The most popular and mildest type of expressing envy is spreading rumours to ruin the other’s prestige. The very first evil influence that such an action can have on an organization is its undermining the foundation of solidarity. The envier is neither respectful of the other’s opinions nor willing to cooperate with his “rival”. That is not to mention his continuous efforts to topple the other in order to “pull the thorn out of his eye”. Meanwhile, for the sake of a company in particular, or an organization in general, solidarity is the very fundamental factor leading to development as the company is itself a group of shared benefits. The lack of solidarity means the company’s shortage of resources on its way to success.

Yet, when the envier is blinded with envy, he can even do absolutely more terrible things which will result in serious losses to not only “the rivals” but also the whole company. For example, a rather common matter happening in working places is a thorough reorganization following a new manager recently appointed. Usually, we can witness a variety of changes taking place in key positions and important departments, even though the whole system has worked smoothly and effectively before. People seem to all arrive at a conspicuous conclusion about reasons for such reorganization: The new manager wishes to crush the old system and operate a new apparatus simply to prove that he can outperform his predecessor, that his successes will not base on what have been previously worked out and that his vision is much broader. Even if the new system consists of all talents, it will still take those new faces so long a time to adapt to everything, then to achieve what the shattered old one used to manage. Thus, the company is being exposed to even a lot more serious wastes. In some cases, say an unnecessary system reorganization due to envy in marketing department, it is the company’s sales and image that will be the first to be affected, let alone a much higher risk of losses and deteriorations.

In short, envy is one of the most potent causes of unhappiness as well as one of the fastest ways leading to failure and damage. Thus, if I were living in a working environment filled with envy, it will admittedly now and then either disappoint or bother me. However, it is “the pain caused by the good fortune of others” (Aristotle), and as “food fortunes of others” last forever, envy becomes an indispensable ingredient in the soup of life. Thus, all that we can do is to utilize it, to determine and reduce the amount of it so as to make the soup more and more delicious.

I strongly believe that envy between person and person is originated from their lack of understanding each other accompanied by a lack of communication. Providing that I am just an outsider, surely I can talk to the other two sides, which means I have a better understanding of the two. Therefore, the very first and, I assume, the only things that I can do are bridging people and so alleviating envy.

Firstly, it is personal talks to people. Sometimes, I need to tell them honestly and straightforwardly about their weaknesses, their waste of time and efforts on envy. Based on the positive contributions to their own benefits which are also the shared benefits of the whole companies, the final goal is to make each person fully aware of their benefits facing the likelihood of being ruined if they continue fostering their envy. Sometimes, what I need to say is just several favourable comments on the envier’s certain qualities to help them realize they have their own values, their own strengths which are worth boasting about. Those simple compliments are what I am confident will help to ease the stress.

Secondly, chances for the “two opposite sides” to sit together and share opinions are also a necessity.

Bridging people, in my opinion, is not a kind of impossible task. Based on their common likes or characteristics, I can find out where, when and how to arrange an opportunity of getting people closer and closer, for instance, a shopping trip for female colleagues or a party at a pub for male ones. Only after they know more about each other will they be in the position to think in a more positive way about a healthy competition rather a continuous chain of nasty tricks.

After all, envy and rivalry are indispensable materials for the human nature to take shape. Nonetheless, whether envy itself overcomes the rough roads of negative thoughts and transforms into the positive emotion of rivalry or not is totally up to each individual.